James Alcock - Parish Clerk Dunton



Saint Peter's Church - Dunton

© Godric Godricson



James Carne - St. Columb Minor, Cornwall



The Parish Clerk (1907)
Peter Hampson Ditchfield
Courtesy : Project Gutenburg



"The oldest parish clerk living is James Carne, who  serves in the parish of St. Columb Minor, Cornwall, and has held the office for fifty-eight years. He is now in his hundred and first year, and still is unremitting in attention to duty, and regularly attends church. He followed in the wake of his father and grandfather, who filled the same position for fifty-four years and fifty years respectively".

Old Scarlett - Died 1594

The Parish Clerk (1907)
Peter Hampson Ditchfield
Courtesy : Project Gutenburg

"The duties of sexton and parish clerk were usually performed by one person, as we have already frequently noticed, and therefore it is fitting that we should record the epitaph of Old Scarlett, most famous of grave-diggers, who buried two queens, both the victims of stern persecution, ill-usage, and Tudor tyranny--Catherine, the divorced wife of Henry VIII, and poor sinning Mary Queen of Scots. His famous picture in Peterborough Cathedral, on the wall of the western transept, usually attracts the chief attention of the tourist, and has preserved his name and fame. He is represented with a spade, pickaxe, keys, and a whip in his leathern girdle, and at his feet lies a skull. In [the upper left-hand corner appear the arms of the see of Peterborough, save that the cross-keys are converted into cross-swords. The whip at his girdle appears to show that Old Scarlett occupied the position of dog-whipper as well as sexton. There is a description of this portrait in the Book of Days, wherein the writer says:

"What a lively effigy--short, stout, hardy, self-complacent, perfectly satisfied, and perhaps even proud of his profession, and content to be exhibited with all its insignia about him! Two queens had passed through his hands into that bed which gives a lasting rest to queens and to peasants alike. An officer of death, who had so long defied his principal, could not but have made some impression on the minds of bishop, dean, prebends, and other magnates of the cathedral, and hence, as we may suppose, the erection of this lively portraiture of the old man, which is believed to have been only once renewed since it was first put up. Dr. Dibdin, who last copied it, tells us that 'old Scarlett's jacket and trunkhose are of a brownish red, his stockings blue, his shoes black, tied with blue ribbons, and the soles of his feet red. The cap upon his head is red, and so also is the ground of the coat armour.'" Beneath the portrait are these lines:

     YOU SEE OLD SCARLETTS PICTURE STAND ON HIE
     BUT AT YOUR FEETE THERE DOTH HIS BODY LYE
     HIS GRAVESTONE DOTH HIS AGE AND DEATH TIME SHOW
     HIS OFFICE BY THEIS TOKENS YOU MAY KNOW
     SECOND TO NONE FOR STRENGTH AND STURDYE LIMM
     A SCARBABE MIGHTY VOICE WITH VISAGE GRIM
     HEE HAD INTER'D TWO QUEENES WITHIN THIS PLACE
     AND THIS TOWNES HOUSEHOLDERS IN HIS LIVES SPACE
     TWICE OVER: BUT AT LENGTH HIS OWN TURNE CAME
     WHAT HE FOR OTHERS DID FOR HIM THE SAME
     WAS DONE: NO DOUBT HIS SOUL DOTH LIVE FOR AYE
     IN HEAVEN: THOUGH HERE HIS BODY CLAD IN CLAY.

The Parish Clerk - 1907

The Parish Clerk (1907)
Peter Hampson Ditchfield
Courtesy : Project Gutenburg

The queries we have had to answer have been exceedingly numerous. Looking at the enclosure containing the console of the organ, a visitor wished to know whether the organist sat inside there. Another asked whether it was the vestry. One who saw great possibilities in such an organ inquired,  "Can he play this organ in any other place beside the key-board?" The pulpit being of so unique a character has had a full share of attention, and no lack of admirers. Gazing at it with eyes filled with wonderment, a woman said to her daughter, "Maria, you're not to touch not even the pews." Everything within sight of such a structure she held sacred. Astonished at its internal capacity, another asked, "Do all the clergy sit in it?" Not realising its true character and intent, a lady wished to know, "By whom was this monument erected?" As we had long since ascertained how impossible it was to please everybody, we were not surprised to find dissatisfied critics presenting themselves. One of this class said, "It looks like a tomb, and smells like a coffin." We append a few more questions we have had to answer:

"Was this church built by St. Nicholas?"
"Does this church stand in four parishes?"
"How many miles is it round the walls of this church?"
"How many does this hold? We were told it holds 12,000."
A clergyman asked, "Where are the bells? Are they in the tower?"
"Haven't you a Bible 3000 years old?"
"Haven't you a Bible that turns over its own leaves?"
"Who had the missing leaves of this (Cranmer's) Bible?"
"Is this the Bible that was chained in Brentwood Church?"
A lady pointing to the font asked, "Is that the Communion Table?"
An elderly lady at the brass lectern inquired, "Is this the clerk's seat?"
A man standing looking over the Communion rails wished to know, "What part of the church do you call this?"
"Was one of the giants buried in the churchyard?"
"Where is the gravestone where a man, his wife, and twenty-five children were buried? I saw it when I was here some years ago, and forget on which side of the church it is."
A young man gazing at the top of the lofty flagstaff just inside the churchyard gates, asked, "Was that erected to the memory of a shipwrecked crew?"

With such extraordinary exhibitions of blatant ignorance can a worthy clerk regale himself, but they must be very trying at times.